It’s the start of a New Year which means it’s time for my new One Word for One Year. I wrote about the spiritual aspect of my chosen word not too long ago, but today I wanted to officially introduce my One Word and my plans for the year with it.
Last year was a year of a lot of change, a lot of new goals and directions, a lot of ground work building foundations. I spread myself all over the place and did a lot of things, but I’m finding I spread myself too thin. I jumped into so much, kept going with so much, and tried so much. I loved it, but at the same time it wasn’t the right approach.
I felt guilt about the lack of time and attention I gave to Darrow. I felt guilt about how little I did to build my relationship with Cameron. I felt guilt about how little time I’ve been able to devote to the Wedding Academy. I felt guilt about my blogs. I felt guilt about a lot. I wanted them all to be fantastic right then and there. And that guilt slowed me down because I felt less and less capable and less and less sufficient.
So this year I’ve decided I need to work on changing habits and changing how I do things. I need to be anxiously engaged. I need to be intentional with what I do. I thought about having Engaged as my word, but it didn’t quite encompass everything I wanted it to. I was engaged, but I was too engaged. I need to be engaged, but I need to be intentional with how I am engaged.
I need to pick the most important areas of my life right now and focus on those. And that’s hard! I want to focus on it all. I want to do it all! This is hard for me. It means cutting things out. It means simplifying. It means putting things aside for later. Which is not something I do well. But this year I want to learn. This year I want to do less with more focus.
So after finishing the current series I’ll be stepping back from the Aunt Judy’s Attic blog (which wasn’t anywhere close to it’s full potential because I just wasn’t able to put the time and energy into the posts and projects I wanted to do to make it fabulous). I have set up guidelines for myself for how many shoots a month I can take and how to be more efficient. I will only do one Academy class at a time. And it kills me. I want to do it all. But even more I want to do it all well, and I can’t. I can’t do everything and do it all fabulously. So I will focus on what is important and be intentional with my time and my energy.
When I am with my family, I want to be thinking about my family and not about what photos I need to be editing when I get home. When I am with a family or bride and groom I want to be thinking about them and their story, and not about what notes I need to type up from my last class or meeting. When I’m blogging, I want to be all here for you all. I want to be fully here and fully alive, not just running from place to place and only there partially because I’ve supersaturated my life.
Learning how to do this is going to take time and patience and perseverance. I will have triumphs and failures. But by the end of the year, I want to be able to look back on the year and see growth in the area. I want to be able to look back and be able to answer why I did what I did. I have my plans for this One Word and how I want it to affect my life, but I know that God has plans for this One Word in my life. I’m anxious (both excited anxious and a little nervous anxious) to see what He has in store.
Living and Intentional Life and being Intentional is a huge theme lately, at least in the circles I’m following. Maybe I’m just noticing that particular theme because it’s what God has steered me to. I don’t know. But even if it is a huge trend, it’s one I know I need to develop in my life.
I’m excited to see how this goes through the year. I’m excited to get to share what I learn about being Intentional. It’s going to be a bumpy ride I’m afraid, but maybe the bumps will knock some rough edges off of me that have needed to come off.